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Category Archives: Hope and Faith

Chronic Illness in the home: Try Psychology for helpful tips

I found Psychology benefited me with my chronic illnesses, making me feel a lot better over time.

Making it Normal by Timothy Weymann, LCSW

Summary Tips from The Psychology of Chronic Illness: Relationships

Blame Game

  • Low social support = distress Baby Boomers have been raised in household duties and childcare responsibilities which can make life challenging for a high social life and income.
  • This in itself can cause a lot of distress.
  • Yet it could happen to anyone.
  • Adding chronic illness to it makes it even more challenging with low social support.
  • Becoming a ‘scapegoat’ Click on this link to gain insights you might not have seen before.
  • You will find more than you expected and very accurate.
  • As a recovering scapegoat I found this article particularly pertinent and a good read.

Finding A Safe Balance

  • Over-involvement I am guilty of over involvement probably due to my ‘scapegoat’ status always trying to do my very best to my own detriment.
  • Once I realize I was in over-involvement mode I purposefully decided to change my ways.
  • Especially for the sake of my health while reversing chronic illnesses.
  • Diseases part Having encountered multiple diseases throughout my life I know how much it affects daily life.
  • Having care takers is valuable while very challenging without support from others and loved ones.
  • If you lack full-time support you might have to find your own resilience to get through it, as I have found.

Sharing The Load

  • Our part/Their part It is beneficial to have cooperation with a supporter doing their part to help you.
  • It is also fair for the one who is chronically ill to do their part as much as is possible.
  • It also encourages the one who is ill to feel their contributions are valued and appreciated.
  • Family/Marital Therapy If you are chronically ill it can take a toll on any type of relationship.
  • Receiving regular therapy can be a life saver.
  • Having an outside view of the situation can help balance tension. Responsibility and understanding can also benefit all concerned.
  • Interpersonal Therapy There are important benefits managing your situation with Interpersonal Therapy in a deeply personal way.
  • With confidentiality you may feel better being able to talk freely, receiving the help to relieve your situation.
  • Social Media use In the event that it is difficult to connect with friends or family Social Media platforms can be the next best to keep socialized.
  • Feeling part of something greater than home-bound chronic illness, restricting you from face to face contact, can make you feel better and less lonely.

Learning To Cope

  • Coping Strategies I have discovered many coping strategies unique to me.
  • Intuitively I discover ways of helping myself, having become resilient, watching how others cope and having regular therapy.
  • It makes me feel less helpless, more hopeful and more able to move forward.
  • Support Groups What a difference support groups made for me.
  • Having attended support groups for five years during my cancer years.
  • A fibromyalgia support group helped me get through to reversal stage.
  • My goal is to return to that support group to share my testimony of healing.

Remember: There is hope always with bountiful solutions. Choose which ones work for you and your loved ones.

In case you missed it:


Helpful Development And Happy Phases To Relieve Chronic Illness

Professional Tips For Helpful And Happy Days

Anxiety’s big issue can still find happiness by feeling better with love and hope.

I know anxiety. I have two family members genetically that also know it.

For me it was more than an anxiety disorder as I was diagnosed with complex trauma.

Once I realized I had a mental health condition my life began making sense. And it wasn’t my fault, neither of my family members. It is what it is.

It makes us unique and it gives us a reason to fight to overcome it, no matter what.

Researching and understanding the condition is paramount. Psychologists, in my experience, help by listening to you, validating your fears and anxiety. They are not only in your mind, but also held inside your body.

Seek help without shame or blame. It is something we all experience. The main difference is the level of severity.

Also the willingness to acknowledge and accept the comforting validation. You might find that you are resilient, intelligent and open to moving forward with your life.

Accept your dreams can come true.

So let’s look at some professional solutions.

Let’s make happiness out of our illnesses.

Summary of ‘Making it Normal’ with Timothy Weymann, LCSW: Anxiety

Anxiety Who hasn’t experienced anxiety if you are human? It affects us all, but for some of us it is more predominant. This is where professional help can help soothe and heal our mind, body and spirit.

  • Obsessions Do you know anyone who doesn’t have obsessions from time to time?
  • We may have more than the average, so let’s address it.
  • Replaying memories Who doesn’t replay their memories? With anxiety it definitely speeds up the process. So learn how to slow it down to management point.

Safety and Vulnerability

  • Safety We all feel unsafe some times during our lives, but it is true for me that anxiety speeds it up.
  • Learning to feel safe within ourselves is something very worthwhile learning.
  • Try out a psychologist you can trust.
  • Vulnerability Again, we all feel it at some time.
  • And yes, having an anxiety disorder increases your feeling and acting vulnerable.
  • Learning how to overcome vulnerability will help improve your life drastically.
  • Learn to be assertive. I became an Assertiveness Coach for that reason.

Emotions and Feelings

  • Emotions We are born with emotions but there is a lot of differences in individuals.
  • Emotions come intensely with anxiety.
  • With education we can learn how to work through our emotions to feel happiness more often.
  • Feeling If we are human which I am assuming your are, we have feelings.
  • How we use them is what makes us individual.
  • Anxious disorders can exaggerate our feelings but learning how to manage feelings is paramount for moving forward towards your dreams.

Physical Anxiety

  • Exhaustion Being exhausted on a regular basis, which anxiety has a great affect on, can make life miserable.
  • Getting help to understand the body, mind and spirit combination can help you gain energy again.
  • For me it was a very complex healing, but it did involve facing anxiety.
  • See a psychologist and a GP to gain insights for your situation.
  • Disturbance in sleep I had insomnia for decades.
  • I just didn’t realize it until I was diagnosed.
  • Anxiety kept me awake plus all of the above and below issues.
  • I am currently addressing with a team of a GP and Clinical Psychologist helping it make possible for me to write up this post.

Social Anxiety

  • Social anxiety The more anxiety you experience with social anxiety the more you most likely will avoid socialization.
  • This can lead to agoraphobia like it did for me, going from a social butterfly to a cocoon.
  • Don’t let it happen to you.
  • Psychology came to my rescue.
  • Invisibility I found anxiety can result in invisibility much like social anxiety.
  • But I also found that invisibility can occur even with loved ones and family members.
  • It is quite tragic whether it is intentional on their behalf or if they no longer know how to help you.
  • Again, psychology help can come to the rescue.
  • Uncertainty It is certainly a part of anxiety.
  • It messes with your life big time.
  • Addressing this fear will release you from your frozen state, defrosting into the world once again.
  • Let’s try that.
  • Quality of life This really affects me.
  • From being a very free-spirited person who had a world to change for the better to a closed in blog poster is not my ideal of having quality of life.
  • But with each psychological session I am seeing the light of my quality of life appearing once again on the near horizon.
  • Don’t give up.
  • It is worth fighting for a life of quality.

Organisation Anxiety

  • Manage verses eliminating The fight begins here.
  • Will you give up or get going?
  • My choice is to learn to manage my life’s work.
  • Giving up will surpass anxiety leading to depression.
  • We have probably been there, so you know that management is the answer for us.
  • Behavior adjustments It’s true.
  • Adjusting our behavior will help us to move forward.
  • Our behaviors have been conditioned since childhood making it very difficult to adjust our behavior.
  • It feels like this is who we are and this is how we react.
  • Once you find the adjustments purpose life for you can improve tremendously.
  • It is worth trying to become the new you.
  • Mindfulness practices Becoming mindful has helped me to be a lot happier.
  • At first it was very uncomfortable facing so many realities which I used to ignore.
  • But with time I began to respect mindfulness making my world so much more colorful, mysterious and playful.
  • Worth it? It is for me. Try it…
  • Positive outcomes We are all looking for positive outcomes.
  • That’s what we live for.
  • But it isn’t always the way of life.
  • Appreciating the outcomes that are truly positive rise to celebrations and gratefulness.
  • Looking out for those outcomes no matter how small can bring great happiness and peace.
  • Look out for them daily.

Remember: There are always positive outcomes if you teach to love yourself.

In case you missed it:


silhouette of woman

Let Go To Move Forward To Your Better Future

By Letting Go Of My Past I Gained A Wonderful Future

Leaving Your Past Behind

As an impulsive young adult I desperately wanted to leave my past behind.

By fulfilling my passionate lifetime future, I had to face the fact that those closest to me thought I had gone mad.

Once I met full-time missionaries, I got very excited when they shared this verse with me:

New King James Version Bible
‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.‘ 2 Corinthians 5:17

I boldly declared, “Old things have passed away! I am a NEW creature!”

Obstacles Affecting Your Future

It was true but…

My biggest obstacle was my family, who wanted me to stay, when I wanted to go.

Saying goodbye to them was the hardest thing I could do…so…I decided to board a bus beginning my three day, four night travel from Perth to Sydney, across Australia.

I didn’t realize the implications.

In hindsight it was not the wisest thing to do.

Abandonment To Realize Your Goal

My trip to Sydney lead to my flight to the Philippines where I eventually met my husband.

After nine years, I returned to my family in Perth, both married and pregnant. I didn’t receive the welcome I was hoping for.

Realizing The Damage

When I realized the damage I had caused, we made plans to travel over the plain to Sydney.

Our initial plan to stay for ten days was interrupted due to a transport strike, forcing us to remain for five weeks. It was so taxing on me as I was desperate to leave.

While waiting to depart for Sydney by train, I burst into tears in front of my parents observing me through the window.

They naturally perceived this emotional outbreak of sorrow, departing once again. But in reality my tears fostered anxiety due to the departure time delayed by one minute.

Health Conditions Resulting From Anxiety

My mid life cancer crisis confronted me to address my past traumas, specifically my childhood and teen years.

Multiple health conditions developed resulting in surgical procedures, one after the other.

While recovering I did some deep reflecting to review my past using re-framing from an adult’s view overriding my childish emotional view.

Spiritual Interception

An epiphany taught me a lesson from the Bible from ‘the potter’:

Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.’ Jeremiah 18:3-4 NJKV

A gentle light filled my mind, opening a new thought pattern on my past.

I envisioned Jesus appearing at the potter’s wheel, holding a mottled lump of clay in His hands. I saw the clay was dry, cracked, lumpy and discolored.

My instinct was to throw it out but…I recognized it as my past with a touch of my present.

Epiphany

I watched His tears releasing the moisture needed to transform the clay.

As I watched Him quietly, I heard Him sing a new song. As a child I wouldn’t have understood these lyrics. Yet, as an adult I understood it clearly. It’s transforming, mesmerizing and transformative power shaped this new pot.

This new elegant pot was much stronger and more useful. It oozed gentleness and wisdom, as though it had a myriad of stories to share with the world.

My remade pot spoke of a new tale, woven from my traumatic past into a meaningful future.

I allowed the butterfly to be released from the suffocating cocoon.

As a result, I learned to fly.

Abandonment transformed into commitment, my shame to honor and betrayal to loyalty.

Life On Earth For Jesus

I’ve read that Jesus experienced these emotions personally during His life on earth.

My Commitment

As Jesus on earth experienced these emotions, so have I.

My new vessel has been refilled with new commitment.

Fresh loyalty and honor to Him who loved me enough to use my past to re-create me into a new creature.

With fresh eyes having seen my past, I now embrace all that I experienced made me who I am today.

My new vessel is what Jesus seemed good to make for me.

What can you take from your past to benefit your future? Call on an Epiphany for help like I did. Embrace what He has to show you..

Everything Has Its Time

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

READ NEXT:


Possible Ways To Find A New Normal With Chronic Illness?

It’s Possible To Find a ‘New Normal” For Our Daily Lives.

Having been the one with chronic illness I can testify that it does change the normal daily life of a couple.

But I found a way which benefited me in a greater way than I ever expected.

“I just want them how they were…”

Is that really what you want?

Summary of the video above with Trafford Fischer: with additional comments.

Changing the ‘this is how it was’ to ‘this is now how it is” can strain any relationship including marriage, the elderly, accident victims and chronic illnesses.”

Grief and loss issue: For sure there is a grief and loss process to address.

Honor the grief, respect the loss: Honoring the grief for me helped me to respect the loss in order to move forward.

Living in denial: I lived in denial way too long until I found my life’s purpose in my illness.

Can’t always heal, even if they want to: True, you may not heal completely, so you use what you have to move forward.

Don’t isolate: a common trap and so easy to fall into, must be addressed at all cost.

Choose to connect: another must that is fight worthy, putting aside the shame, blame and abandonment.

Take care of yourself: it becomes the number one purpose of your life in order to seal your dream.

Find support network: new friends who you can talk to on your current level who truly understand you.

Remember: Sleep can be a causative item for chronic illness if sleep is deprived. Focus on the series presented earlier.

In case you missed it:


Happy Meditative Healing With Birds, Bees, Flowers and Trees

Do you have a special corner at your house where you can meditate?

I have a special backyard where in a corner beside the garage is a large, tall tree that shades a grapevine.

Bee Meditation:

Here resides hanging pot plants creating a haven for our pet rabbit run with a local beehive and a willy-wag tail bird’s nest located in the tree on a lower branch.

My local beehive which was removed to a safer location, saving the queen bee.

Willy Wagtail Bird Meditation:

It is low enough for me to observe the willy-wag tails. A pair of them swoop in and out of the nest while feeding them in turn. One is feeding while the other is searching for food.

In and out they swoop like a swing in action, or like two trapeze artists crossing over from the left and right, passing each other in the middle.

Raising my head just a touch I see the baby birds heads peeking out of the nest, receiving nourishment to survive.

I stand there daily, come rain or shine for my daily meditation.

I know the season will pass soon enough after the babies grow and fly the coop to live their lives. They will be producing more offspring and contributing to the world of birds and their beauty.

Willy wag tails can be very aggressive, yet one sat a metre away from my feet, looking up at me for the first time.

Next one landed on my daughter’s feet as she was seated admiring her rabbit in his pet run.

It seemed to me they were checking the safety level of their nest since it was almost within reach of a human’s touch.

I love nature for reasons like this story.

My greatest meditation takes place in my backyard garden.

Kookaburra Meditation:

Soon the Kookaburras will return and inhabit my clothesline or sit close to the window trees.

I watch them laughing out loud with a mouse in his mouth, or wiggling around while the willy-wag tail swoops at him repeatedly. This drives him to the point of flying away for a safer location.

For those few moments I spend outside with the flowers and the trees, the birds and the bees is paradisaical for me.

No need to fly endless hours to find a foreign beach or location.

I simply slip out of the sun-room door and there I am with my cup of tea, or even a meal to meditate.

It’s relaxing to my eyes after my computer work and internal work.

Grounding On Grass Meditation:

Move to the outside world where all is natural, with your bare feet planted on the ground or even lying down on the grass, mat or not.

Enjoy the sensations of the earth, called grounding.

It can take a few minutes to hours, whatever I choose.

Do you also have a meditative moment outside, in the sun, with bare-feet on the ground?

Or picnicking your lunch while enjoying the sun with a gentle breeze?

Watching the birds, bees or flowers and trees?

Try it daily, you might like it. I do.

READ NEXT:


Being Proud And Happy To Be In Perth During COVID-19

The New York Times appraisal for Perth, Western Australia for COVID-19

Making it possible to contain COVID-19…

Read all about it here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/31/world/perth-covid-lockdown.html

https://perth.wa.gov.au/

Perth’s COVID-19 Lockdown Makes The New York Times

https://soperth.com.au/perths-covid-19-lockdown-makes-the-new-york-times-46948/embed#?secret=AZNdPcx18H

It was a shock to hear the Premier of Western Australia announcing a lock-down for a single COVID-19 patient. We had two hours before lock-down curfew began.

Check out the article above to see how Western Australia got into The NY times and how we enjoyed ten months of COVID-19 freedom, following COVID-19 rules, with the hope we can enjoy COVID-19 freedom once again.

READ NEXT:

A Functional Medicine Approach to COVID-19


How to Make Fibromyalgia Symptoms Disappear

Can Fibromyalgia Be Put Into Remission?

In Honour of the late Alf Pullen, Natural Therapist

By Debby Blettner

Disclaimer

“He is an extension of God’s hands,”

was how my friend described Alf Pullin.

I had to see it to believe it.

Now I am a believer.

The Fascia Link

It was September of 2012, holding back my tears of pain while making my first phone call to Alf. His response hearing I had fibromyalgia was that I would be in a lot of pain.

I was new to Bowan Therapy and was a bit nervous not knowing what would result of my treatment.

I was pleasantly surprised by the contrast of medical procedures I had endured with this gentle, but highly effective therapy.

I found Alf very professional and safe in his capable hands.

He seemed to know exactly what I needed, explaining as he went unlocking mysteries yet unfolded about my condition.

I was fascinated and also surprised at the severity of my condition.

After completing a thorough detox and accompanying therapy I was ‘relaxed ‘.

A person in my condition hardly knows the words, ‘relaxed and pain free’.

I had an advanced form of Fibromyalgia.

At home I followed Alf’s advice to “rest, feet up, and drink water”, but after I had completed these tasks I continued into a deep sleep, so deep and wonderful it was a pity to wake from it.

The most amazing realization came from that day forth. My sporadic body paralysis of seven years left me after my first Bowan Therapy Session.

The ascending paralysis which left my body tingling in a comatose state was gone!

Pain subsided dramatically, enabling me to leave my three-year Fibromyalgic bedridden state.

Partaking in activities such as eating my meals in the dining room at a table, verses all my former meals in bed, became my new reality. The change was dramatic!

This was only the first of my treatments. I saw Alf for another two follow-up treatments and I could have sworn my Fibromyalgia was gone. Alf agreed.

The Ridiculously Long List of Fibromyalgia Symptoms (as it was so called) from the Fibromyalgia Support Network here in Perth lists all of the researched symptoms.

I took the time to compare my symptoms before and after I was treated by Alf.

Before Alf’s treatments, I suffered from 84% of the symptoms.

After Alf’s treatments, 26% of the symptoms remained, which Alf is working on with me to successfully relieve.

This 64% reduction in symptoms has changed my life in wonderful ways. I feel alive and am grateful for each day that passes.

Most of all, I feel I have a future and desire to spread the word that Fibromyalgia can be majorly relieved.

It is said to be incurable, but a remission is enough for me.

Alf was also a teacher by nature, having received specialized advice which I haven’t found in my extensive medical research.

That made Alf and his therapy just that more valuable.

Now that he has passed who else can we go to for healing?

Fortunately, just before he passed I found a website called Bendable Body, which is also available on YouTube.

John and Sita provide many helpful exercises specific for ailments and general health. My Fibromyalgia didn’t return as I kept up toning the fascia.

READ NEXT:

Check it out here: Bendable Body and Bendable Body Playlists


Encouragement – An Enormous Gift For All Of Us

“One of the greatest gifts a person can give another is support.” Unknown

By Debby Blettner

I was desperate for a great shot of encouragement.

In the late 1990’s my husband was given immediate surgery to extend the three months of life expected from his diagnosis with aggressive testicular cancer.

I felt it was unfair to be so heavily tested, especially my faith and belief.

My childhood friend died of bowel cancer shortly after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, plus I was disabled with a severe frozen shoulder.

Surely my life would change forever, once I got through it, regardless of the outcome.

After my tears subsided, I saw a flower stall displaying a bright red, heart-shaped balloon with the inscription, “I love you.”

I purchased it without a thought.

Desperately waiting for his eyes to open after the surgery while my eyes shining from the tears, I approached him with my gift balloon.

I smiled knowing my love and acceptance was the greatest healing potion I could offer.

His eyes welcomed me, as if we had just shared our wedding vows while holding each other’s gaze.

The moment was broken by the announcement that I could take him home as soon as I was ready.

The surgery had been a success!

This memory is more than two decades old but still as fresh to me as a dew-covered rose.

Moving forward, comfort, faith, and acceptance encouraged me to comfort others.

My future became encouragement with those who inevitably fell into my arms, using my shoulder to cry on.

Simply holding them, while shedding tears, helped me to hold my faith and belief that all things work together for good, no matter what. (Romans 8:28)

Oh Lord, make me an instrument of your peace (and comfort.)

Paraphrased from The Prayer of St Francis.’


Unconditional Joy and Happiness: Can I Be Happy?

Lecture about Joy and Happiness:

By Dr Jason Han PhD, In 1999

Disclaimer: Notes recorded by Debby Blettner

Dr Han asked for a show of hands as to whom in the group was happy.

About 50% of the group responded with a “Yes.”

Life is full of simple pleasures.

An Epicurean – is someone who loves food.

Don’t look outside for happiness, all the ingredients are within you.

You don’t need to be a chef to mix all the ingredients to make happiness.

We are taught money can buy you anything, including happiness.

If so, all rich men would tell you they are all happy.

Optimistic people are happy.

Happy people are people who have:

1) High Self Esteem -they like themselves, they have a good sense of self worth.

2) Full sense of control.

3) Optimistic –they are always looking on the bright side.

4) Outgoing – make friends easily, have good communication skills.

Work on yourself to change to become happier!

If you want a good Role model – copy the above points!

When you’re happy you’re NK cells are bubbling over, lots of endorphins!

Let’s be happy!

You are happy because you sing, so reset your nervous system, try assuming a smile.

A frown doesn’t do anything to improve your immune system. It depresses even others immune systems. A smile does wonders for your immune system!

Lift up the corners of your mouth, even pretending does wonders to your immune system!

Endorphins are natural opiates, healing agents, they lower blood pressure, good oxygen therapy.

There are three types of Endorphins, one of those types is 700 times more powerful than morphine!

The Happiness Test:

1) If thing don’t go my way I get very upset. Yes/No

2) I feel good about my body. Yes/No

3) I can accept things the way they are. Yes/No

4) I dislike many people. Yes/No

5) I sometimes wish I had never been born. Yes/No

6) I love sex. Yes/No

7) I like most people. Yes/No

8) I rejoice within myself when someone does well. Yes/No

9) I frequently feel helpless and lost. Yes/No

10) When I make a mistake, I brood over it. Yes/No

Anything less than 7 points in this test means you are not happy!

This test leads you to look at areas where you need to expand on.

“I can accept things the way they are.” If “no”, then work on it. For example, if you get angry then work on it! Be solution oriented, not problem oriented.

Positive affirmations for happiness:

1) I enjoy everything I do.

2) I look forward to each day with great enthusiasm.

3) I have someone to confide in.

4) I love life and life is wonderful.

5) I love my job and I like the people I work with.

6) I am successful in all I do.

Repeat these affirmations 60 times a day to become happier, and to develop a new habit. Listen to the emotion of the words!

What is your Value system? – if you lost all your money, but you have good health and full function of your body, then be happy!

Some parts of India, if you run over a man’s wife he will not be bothered, but if you run over his cow, he will kill you! Different values!

People spend $100,000 or 1\4 of a million on a house, $50,000 on a car, but what about your health?

If you want to be happy – be happy!

LListen to the emotion of the answer to the question, when asking if someone is happy.

READ NEXT:



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